Dear Forge,


Well, here it is. Another lockdown for the whole country. I feel like that chap from Forrest Gump writing this, but we’re now all back inside, again. Being told to only go to work if we need to, again. Being told it’s for the good of the country, again. The only change this time is that the weather is becoming more miserable by the day, and who doesn’t love going for a walk in the cold November rain? Still, it’s comforting to know this is a proper lockdown. For real. No ifs or buts. Super-duper lockdown. None of that namby-pamby half in, half out lockdown. Lockdown Two: This Time, It’s Personal.

Nonsense, more like. Shutting the whole country down won’t solve a thing. I mean, really. Do they shut down rugby matches if one fan gets kicked out? Come off it, there’d be a riot. At least this time they extended that furlough business until the end of March, meaning thousands, if not millions, have lost their job for no reason whatsoever. Call me suspicious, but telling people to go to work then essentially cancelling their jobs almost seems like they didn’t want furlough to cost as much this time. But hey, that’s just me.

Business as usual for me though, with people still going out. And that’s not a jab at those who do stand up for their inherent British values (exploring places previously off-limits, doing what we want without a care for others, breaking rules and claiming it was always our duty to do so); it’s our natural course of order to stand up to them telling us to stay inside!

Like the students at the University of Manchester. God bless every one of them, sticking it to The Man, standing up for themselves, showing they’re not to be cowed by anything. Not only was it chuffing crackers to quite literally cage in students to the confines of their own apartments, they weren’t even consulted about it beforehand. Not that any sane person would actually agree to cutting yourself off from the outside world and paying for the privilege. Let the students roam free, into the city of Manchester to live their lives. Otherwise, what’s the point of going to live in a university city at all? Rebellion should be at the heart of every good student.

Take Uni of Sheffield as an example. Yes, the library is open. Yes, the Union is open. But at what cost? As stated in my previous letters, either open it, or don’t. These bosses think they know it all – take it from me kids, they know the square root of sod all when it comes to people. All they’re bothered about is money – my last boss, that Trump fella, he didn’t care for anybody. That new one, Biden, he’s bad news for me. He actually has plans to help his people. It’s all well and good helping people, but what is it that keeps you warm at night? That’s right, pound coins and £20 notes, that’s what. The Sheffield students ought to look at their fellow Mancunians. If they had any sense, they’d organise a rent strike and let the uni know where their priorities ought to lie.

At least students can now go home over Christmas. They get six days to pack their stuff and go back home with families. Huge potential for more work for me, of course, but good luck to them. Nobody deserves to be alone for Christmas.

But then again, don’t listen to me. I’ve just been rinsed too much by those who don’t care a jot for those like me. I just get by any way I can – I’m a people person. Of course I’m lucky to have work now, but what about tomorrow? And the day after? And the week after that? That’s what they never understand. If it’s not for your mother paying the bills, or your dad grafting hard, there would be no such thing as an economy. Just people getting sick, and being of no use to anybody. You’d have thought someone would have clocked this one by now, but no, instead you’re all back in a lockdown that will sort the UK out over Christmas, so they reckon. And a lovely Christmas it will be too. Everybody huddled round the television, watching the latest developments from I’m a Politician, Get Me Out of Here!


Mr C. Ovid 


Featured Image: The Student’s Union, remarkably still open in a nationwide lockdown (Forge Press)


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