Oasis Pizza and the Broomhill Friery have been refused permission to stay open until the hours of the day that are so early they may even be considered late.
The ironically named ‘BANG’ neighbourhood watch group have succeeded in keeping Whitham Road a safer and quieter environment for that crucial period of between 3.15 am and 4.15am at the risk of upsetting perhaps five particularly drunk stragglers per night.
An essential element to any young adult’s night out is to end up at a horrible eatery buying barely edible food in order to satisfy a strangely consistent craving for cholesterol and excess salt.
It’s an essential rule of thumb. Pre-drinks either at home, or Bar One, or both, followed by more expensive drinks listening to music you would normally hate, before a trip to any kind of food distributor that can guarantee at least mildly warm sustenance.
But why are these areas of renowned fine dining so upset at this surely minimal level of trade? What is it about that particular time that will make them so much money?
I’ve always failed to be compos mentis enough to keep track of when exactly clubs shut, but I’ve always found that regardless, the Broomhill Friery has been an open haven calling me in like a moth to a particularly bright light.
Never once have I turned up only to find I’m too late to be allowed to waste my money in a classic case of ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’.
If ever the day comes that I’m standing outside the front door craving cheesy chips to soak up the vodka in my system and I’m too late to enter a late night takeaway, then it’s time to sit down and have a serious think about what exactly I’m doing with my life.
This attack on the expansion of the Friery and Oasis Pizza is certainly not an example of the council trying to ‘ruin this city’, as Sean Bean’s nephew (and Friery owner) ludicrously suggested.
It certainly seems there is an agenda of bowing to public pressure and limiting the extent of drunken excess. This move to prevent all-night takeaways is another step to deter those who thrive on an early-hour drinking culture.
It must be really annoying for people living in Broomhill. It’s annoying for me having my next door neighbours crawling in at 5am and then blasting out the Antiques Roadshow theme tune. They go to Hallam and will never read this so I can say: I hate all of you.
Imagine what it must be like for residents who aren’t students. Those who have children, or are elderly. A constant wave of loud idiots, who earlier in the night had left their sense of decency and understanding of social norms at the bottom of a glass, would be infuriating.
Imagining how it would feel to know that this situation could be extended by an hour, or as original plans were to 6am, would be far too much.
The only problem is the level of consistency. A nearby competitor Northern Sole has recently been allowed to stay open longer and this probably triggered the two aforementioned facilities to request a similar allowance.
Perhaps this means that they have more sensitive locals or maybe they just attract a more irritating demographic of drunken slobs.