Some say it’s painful and expensive, others swear by it. Since hot wax hair removal is still a controversial topic, Forge Lifestyle & Travel sent four brave contributors to try it out.
INTIMATE – MALE, by Tom Wardak
I don’t know about you, but my ideal Saturday doesn’t start with me lying on a table, naked from the waist down, with a woman I’ve only known for a few minutes smearing burning, blue wax onto my testes.
If you think small talk in the hairdressers is awkward, think again.
To say that I was nervous before the first rip would be a gross understatement. If I didn’t feel sick before having to sign what looked like a medical release form that would deny me any right of litigation should a bollock be accidentally removed, I certainly did after.
Admittedly, the actual hair-removal process wasn’t as bad as I expected. Yes, it was painful, but after the initial shock, the old adrenaline kicked into overdrive.
The rest of the 20 minute session passed quite swimmingly, even if it was punctuated by brief flashes of eye-watering agony. The waxer and I even shared the odd joke. Thankfully, not about my penis.
The thing that mystifies me, being as I am now a possessor of a ball bag smoother than buttery silk, is why anyone would do this.
Testicles aren’t exactly the paragon of natural beauty, but my balls now bear more than a passing resemblance to the gobbly bit of a turkey’s neck.
Not quite what you’d call an improvement. And hygiene isn’t really a reason either. The only other real reason, as my waxer beautifully put it, is that your partner won’t get “dental floss” during fellatio. Lovely, but, somehow, I don’t see that being much of a problem, unless your name is Chewbacca or Sasquatch.
I did it because of a drunken bet, but I highly doubt the other hundred odd clients who return month in, month out have the same excuse.
LEGS by Alisha Rouse
Having never been waxed before, I went in shaking like a leaf and feeling overwhelming pathetic. I mounted a chair that looked worryingly like a dentist’s and waited for the wax to be applied to my legs.
At first it felt smooth and warm against my skin, and I thought that the entire process would be relaxing. Turns out I was wrong.
I flinched in pain as the lady, who I hasten to add was practically grinning at my dismay, applied the first strip and ripped it off my skin.
Thankfully, the more she continued, the number my legs became. After each section, a soothing moisturiser was massaged onto my legs.
All in all, it hurt; but by the end I was left with silky smooth legs- and slightly red pores.
The next morning the redness has subsided and my legs were left feeling like Gisele Buendchen’s.
CHEST by Tom Fletcher
Being a gentleman on the more glorious side of hairy, I don’t fit into the category of ceaseless grooming and chests as smooth as well-plucked chicken breasts.
So, who better to be liberated from the old hairy torso with the help of hot wax and lollipop sticks?
The process is relatively quick and surprisingly tolerable. More unpleasant, however, is the ending result.
While a hairy man can get away with not having the most spiffingly toned torso, without the hair, I found myself looking essentially like a large, fat baby with much smaller nipples than I had thought. This was upsetting.
Back at school, the lads who grew body hair first were gods among mere mortals. So what happened?
A hairy chest gives you character and, I like to imagine, makes a man appear more virile in that creepy, ‘oh behave!’ sort of way. For that reason, waxing my chest is not something I’ll be doing again anytime soon.
INTIMATE – female by Fay Guest
Let’s not beat about the ahem, bush, waxing hurts no matter what. Take that waxing pain ‘downstairs’ and you have pain coupled with the embarrassment of displaying yourself in all your glory to a complete stranger.
Paper ‘pants’ aside, the person waxing you will pretty much see everything you have to give.
The pain is…interesting. It’s over before you know it, but do not let that take away from the fact that it really does hurt.
Taking all of this into consideration, I wouldn’t advise anyone to get their private parts waxed just because their partner may want them to.
Exposing yourself to a complete stranger should be something you feel comfortable with.
If you’re okay with it great, but if you’re not there is absolutely no reason for you to put yourself through something so painful and potentially embarrassing.