The dreaded time of year is upon us once again, and we somehow have to retreat out of our caves and actually get some work done.

Ah, exam season. The dreaded time of year is upon us once again, and we somehow have to retreat out of our caves and actually get some work done. The struggle is very much real. When it comes to revision, though, it’s safe to say that we’re all a bit different in our own quirky little ways. Nobody revises and prepares for exams in the same way, and that’s the beauty of it. Here are the six types of students you’ll inevitably see somewhere around campus during exam season.

They’ll have secured their spot in the IC or Diamond at least a couple of months before exams, and can be found in a corner surrounded by books, folders, crib sheets, and notes colour-coded and highlighted to the point of perfection. They’ll know exactly what questions are likely to come up and will plan their answers accordingly. Essay? Oh, they did that weeks ago so they can focus solely on upcoming exams. You gaze upon them in total awe and amazement and wonder whether they’re actually some sort of Jesus reincarnation. “How do they do it?” you’ll ask yourself several times over, secretly wishing you were them and finding it insane how they can be so calm and composed at the prospect of exams. If ‘super organized’ sounds like you, I salute you.

The meltdown student can be found crying in the IC café over a triple Espresso and a Lucozade less than a week before exams. They’ve left it all to the last minute, and don’t have a clue where to start in terms of revision. The prospect of quitting uni has crossed their mind more times than they’d like to admit, and the sleepless nights are becoming a regular thing. They thought they’d be fine holding off on the revision for a while, but now they wish time machines were real, because oh God they’d do it all so differently. They cram as much revision as they can into a few days, even though they’ve convinced themselves that they’re going to fail and will have to resit come August. But they actually do better than they expect to, and alas the cycle continues.

Exams? What exams? Oh yeah, them. “Be reyt,” you’ll hear them utter from afar, and you’ll feel a sharp twinge of jealousy. How can they be so cool and collected while you’re silently dying? They’ll do a bit of revision in small snippets, but they’re pretty convinced that the exams will be easy enough, and that they know what they need to know to get an alright grade. They know they won’t get a First, probably not even a 2:1, and they’re okay with that. These students can be found in the IC café with a book open in front of them, but they’re too busy scrolling through Twitter and eating a chicken tikka baguette to read it. They’ll crack on for a bit, but will eventually get bored of skim reading and will leave the IC to do something more useful with their time.

When said student actually decides to get off their backside and do some revision, they’ll have their head in a book ‘till the sun comes up. You know those students you gaze upon in awe when they claim they’ve been in the library for 24+ hours plus? Yep, that’s them. Rather than spacing out their revision time sensibly, they’ll cram it into one insane 2-day sesh, prove everyone wrong, and actually do decently in exams. They’ll arrive at the Diamond or IC at 4pm, armed with snacks, energy drinks and books galore. They’ll be at it for hours, but will eventually crash, and decide to have a quick coffee nap on one of the sofas. They’ll wake, continue their mission until around the 2am mark, and crash once again. When they can see the sun rising outside, they know they might as well wait for the hot drink & bacon bun offer at the café. When the revision sesh is finally over, they’ll ask themselves what they were thinking because the comedown from the energy drinks and coffee has made them look like an extra from the Walking Dead. But cramming a month’s worth of revision into a day is just how they roll.

They’ll stroll into the library with an entourage, and will make a point of being as loud and annoying as humanly possible. They’ll use “revision time” as a chance to catch up on all the goss and have a good old natter and chinwag with their pals. They’ll do a bit of revision, obvs, but 75% of the time they’ll be nattering away. When their friends have had enough and eventually leave (they figure they’ll get more work done by themselves, anyway), the social butterfly will retreat onto social media, where they will post a meme or two into the group chat, pop up to old school friends for a catch up, and post a ‘revision’ selfie onto Snapchat… just for good measure. They’ll eventually get tired of all the imaginary revision they’ve been doing, and will go home to FaceTime one of their mates as they get ready for Tuesday Club.

The ghost knows they’ll revise better in the comfort of their own room, and will spend the next few weeks at their desk, working away. They can be seen briefly in lectures, but that’s about it really. They won’t hang about – there’s work to be done, and they’ll only get distracted in the library, or anywhere where there happens to be other students. When it comes to revision, they’re a lone wolf, and that’s the way they like it. When exams are over, they’ll retreat out of their dimly-lit rooms and see the burning, blistering sun once again. They’ll wear sunglasses for a good week or so until their eyes gets used to the light, but eventually they’ll feel back to normal again. And one year later, the cycle will repeat.

IC Image credit: Richard Davies